I see where you're confused. Toxic Masculinity isn't about every man killing some woman. It's about society setting a stage where the PRECURSORS to violence and entitlement have societally acceptable niches
Like a virulent disease, toxic masculinity requires the proper environment to thrive.
Not everyone who contracts a disease suffers it's worst effects.
Some are asymptomatic
Some are just carriers
Some only have mild symptoms
But left untreated, with proper factors... Deadly
Toxic Masculinity doesn't say "kill that woman"
It says "women are out to get you, right guys?"
It says "sometimes you gotta keep your woman in line"
It says "it's none of your business if your buddy gets drunk and smacks his wife a little. That's between them"
Toxic Masculinity doesn't say "rape that woman"
It says "You paid a lot for dinner, she owes you"
It says "You married her. You're entitled to sex on demand"
It says "Keep going further till she smacks you. If she doesn't, you're good"
Toxic Masculinity doesn't say "Go out and cause grievous violence"
It says "Men have to be aggressive"
It says "Real men don't let a woman disrespect them by exercising autonomy"
It says "Dead sluts are still a legit punchline"
Yes. Every man who inflicts violence, emotional, physical, sexual, has chosen which path they take.
But toxic masculinity clears that path, paves it and puts up signs announcing it.
And once they have chosen that path, Toxic Masculinity serves as their attorney, arguing and justifying.
It doubles down.
It rejects introspection.
Toxic Masculinity can be starved.
Its environment can be rendered inhospitable.
It can be quarantined
It can be attenuated.
It can be isolated
Identifying it wherever it is seen.
Challenging it's false and misleading premises
Teaching consent and respect for bodily autonomy
Encouraging people to interact with others as people rather than potential acquisitions
We can give Toxic Masculinity no quarter.
We can keep it from respite and deny it sanctuary.
We can cut its supply lines and disrupt its activities.
We can undermine and subvert it daily
We can be introspective about how Toxic Masculinity manifests in our own lives.
We can stop and listen to the cries of the people Toxic Masculinity has harmed
We can question the things we think we know about how gender roles are "supposed" to work
We can make time each week to learn a little more about what Toxic Masculinity looks like and how it works.
We can broaden our understanding of abuse
We can reject maladaptive patterns and forge new ones in our own relationships
We can let kids define their own identities without imposing our dogma on them.
We can support and educate rather than coerce.
We can learn to let go of "Real man" language and "man up" language around boys, and replace them with encouragement to take responsibility and to expand their emotional vocabulary