Relationships aren't permanent and they should never be all-consuming. All-consuming relationships are a recipe for losing oneself. Relationships are fragile after all. It's far better to remember no one person can ever be our everything, which means losing someone doesn't mean we return to nothing.
Remember what it was like to love and be loved, even if it was only for a few minutes. Remember that just because something is over doesn't mean it was any less real. People aren't homes. You can't buy them or own them. You can't renovate them to be whatever you want or need according to your changing desire or expectations. You can't dump your shit all over their interior. You can't expect them to wait around to comfort your each and every insecurity. People aren't backup plans or getaways - they exist in the present. They exist and serve many roles and purposes besides being a supporting character in our stories. And we exist outside of playing a supportive character in theirs.
"The next time you find yourself with other people that you love, if you just check in with yourself and take note of whether you are looking through your eyes, really perceiving what's happening in your environment, or if you catch yourself being in your head just thinking. I think a big step in the direction of true empathy is being present, scanning your environment, being embodied and engaged." - Brett Wilkinson
Understanding of the self only arises in relationship, in watching yourself in relationship to people, ideas, and things; to trees, the earth, and the world around you and within you. Relationship is the mirror in which the self is revealed. Without self knowledge there is no basis for right thought and action.