"I think that we best realize love in community. This is something I have had to work with myself, because the intellectual tradition of the West is very individualistic. It’s not community-based. The intellectual is often thought of as a person who is alone and cut off from the world. So I have had to practice being willing to leave the space of my study to be in community, to work in community, and to be changed by community."
Parents and teachers uphold vertical relationships and therefore are working against self-reliance. The relationship should be horizontal- as a guide that encourages and supports when in need from the background.
Education is self-reliance. Students shall not depend on the teacher. Children shall not depend on their parents for decision making. Courage and self-reliance is learned when own decisions and actions are taken.