Companies like Facebook have the imagination and the resources to implement better leave and flexibility in working hours so parents don’t have to choose between their children and careers. It may come at a cost initially, but the return on investment will be more women staying in the workplace, higher employee satisfaction, and the knowledge that we are doing right by our people and our children. I’m calling on them to make a change.
The overarching lesson is that I don’t want people to keep their dreams a secret. It’s so tempting. You feel insane announcing your dreams to the world. One, it feels unlucky. Two, it’s fucking scary because these people will know. Three, you feel like a fraud. I’m telling you that those things can’t prevent you from deciding who you are. That’s where agency begins. It’s really hard for women. It’s really hard for women of color.
This turns out to be a bad strategy. Over the years, Professor Nutt and other researchers have demonstrated a strong correlation between the number of alternatives deliberated and the ultimate success of the decision itself. In one of his studies, Professor Nutt found that participants who considered only one alternative ultimately judged their decision a failure more than 50 percent of the time, while decisions that involved contemplating at least two alternatives were felt to be successes two-thirds of the time.
Romantic comedies do really well when times are tough. You want to escape and times are pretty tough right now. It’s a pretty crazy world every day in the news, and it doesn’t matter what generation you’re from. We’re bombarded 24/7 with negativity and the beauty and joy and hopefulness of Jenny’s writing is such a welcomed change that it caught people by surprise. I think people who don’t watch romantic comedies or movies set in high school are shocked that they are staying with it and then watching it again. I keep getting letters from people, like, “I’m an adult; I’m not supposed to be in this market group. I don’t understand but I watched it three times!” I can’t take credit for everything. I don’t know why that is but I’m super excited by it.
I think it’s a great credit to texting that I was able to reveal a part of myself to this person that was unencumbered by so many things that were complicating my life at the time. It’s really cowardly if you think about it, because it’s almost like hedging your bets. You get to extend this little tentacle, a little sensitive antenna, and scope out the joint before you make any sort of commitment. I do think that is particular to correspondence. I don’t think that’s necessarily text. Throughout the history of letter writing, this is obviously a huge part of it.
I remember always being worried that I wasn’t giving enough and after Alice moved on after 1 or 2 takes, I would fret about it every night. I always thought, why don’t I get more takes? When I confided this to Alice many years later, she told me, because you always gave it to me in the first take. I never believed her.
You can sort of see it in the dialogue, too, I think that most people don’t just come right out and say what they want or need. I get frustrated sometimes when I’m watching films and all the characters are speaking without sub-text. I feel condescended to. I think that with these characters in particular, especially the mother and the daughter, they both clearly have wants and needs that they’re not expressing to each other. But you never doubt that they love each other.