This turns out to be a bad strategy. Over the years, Professor Nutt and other researchers have demonstrated a strong correlation between the number of alternatives deliberated and the ultimate success of the decision itself. In one of his studies, Professor Nutt found that participants who considered only one alternative ultimately judged their decision a failure more than 50 percent of the time, while decisions that involved contemplating at least two alternatives were felt to be successes two-thirds of the time.
The overarching lesson is that I don’t want people to keep their dreams a secret. It’s so tempting. You feel insane announcing your dreams to the world. One, it feels unlucky. Two, it’s fucking scary because these people will know. Three, you feel like a fraud. I’m telling you that those things can’t prevent you from deciding who you are. That’s where agency begins. It’s really hard for women. It’s really hard for women of color.