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abby st. claire
cancer rising
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there’s tenderness in the vicinity

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“Not everyone we connect with is going to be able to reciprocate our love. Sometimes we are ready and another person is not. Sometimes we choose someone and they cannot choose us back… And that is okay. You have to understand that that is okay…Someone’s inability to choose me is not a reflection of me, or my value, or my worth. However, it is also not something I need to grip at and dissect and turn into pain.

Sometimes life weathers people in different ways. We are all on this earth just trying to figure ourselves out. Just trying to mend the breaks in our souls, just trying to deal with what is heavy within us.

Sometimes we are ready and another person is not. Sometimes we try and another person does not. Sometimes we put ourselves into another human being and they cannot contain all that we are…Sometimes we choose to make things work and another person decides that they cannot choose that same reality and that is okay.

Because at the end of the day if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching them to do so before they are ready, is a form of self-destruction…You have to let this person grow on their own terms because you cannot love someone into their potential. You cannot love someone into being ready — they have to do that on their own.”

— Bianca Sparacino

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1

"Lucky
To have
People in my life with the power to break my heart”

Opening line to "Lucky" sung by Dehd

The Years
by Alex Dimitrov

All the parties you spent
watching the room
from a balcony
where someone joined you
to smoke then returned.
And how it turns out no one
had the childhood they wanted,
and how they'd tell you this
a little drunk, a little slant
in less time than it took
to finish a cigarette
because sad things
can't be explained.
Behind the glass and inside,
all your friends buzzed.
You could feel the shape
of their voices. You could
tell from their eyes they were
in some other place. 1999
or 2008 or last June.
Of course, it's important
to go to parties. To make
life a dress or a drink
or suede shoes someone wears
in the rain. On the way home,
in the car back, the night sky
played its old tricks. The stars
arranged themselves quietly.
The person you thought of drove
under them. Away from the party,
(just like you) into the years

The Years, by Alex Dimitrov
Michelangelo Antonioni, Red Desert, 1964
Michelangelo Antonioni, Red Desert, 196
by Brenna Twohy
by Brenna Twohy
Thich Nhat Hanh, Your True Home
Thich Nhat Hanh, Your True Home
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