Being normal is a nervous place, because you can never finish performing your relation to it; on the other hand, being comfortable is also another way of thinking about what normativity provides, because if you pass as normal then you can scoot under the radar. The whole question of how you lubricate the social order never stops being difficult, and it never stops being a matter of shame, because when one confronts one’s own ambivalence and incoherence one feels in a bad faith relation to the model of ethical solidity we expect from ourselves. But what if we just trained ourselves to accept that all of us are incoherent, subject to a variety of aversive and connective impulses that we are always managing? The social then would be a totally different space of intimacy and anxiety.

∆ Lauren Berlant, The Broken Circuit (interview)