At the sound of the bell ringing my mom would run anxiously excited to fix the house before the guests come in. I never understood this obsession to conceal your life or conceal your living when other people arrive. As if they find something out of place, they will notice and judge you for it. People perceive that if you invite them over and you have a messy house you kind of do not respect them. I don't think like this. I think that you do not respect them if you hide your life and make it look all tidy and nice - because it really isn't. You are lying to your guests and you are presenting an illusion - an illusion of comfort. Cleaning up your house before people arrive is the equivalent of small talk. I am not advocating for total mess and chaos. Just authentic human mess that is created when an organism is alive and thinking and LIVING inside a room. Living is never CLEAN, I mean yes, basic hygiene and an aesthetic comfort should be there for mental health reasons, but do things have to be PERFECT? No.
If you ask me, I love seeing the process of living when I enter other people's apartments. I see their mess, books, water bottle, drinked coffee, a jumper near by in case it gets cold and I fall in love with this. I see them as raw and as true as they are inside this room, without my presence ruining the natural flow of energy. So, when guests arrive I am not compelled to clean the house and hide what I have been doing. I want to leave the books open as they were before the news of their arrival would disrupt my current flow, I want them to see what it is like to be me and who I truly am. In fact I would not even open the door. By some weird mechanism the guests would come in on their own and find me as I am. In front of a book or laptop or watching something. My posture would say: welcome to me; this is me.

Aesthetic of a processs
2

Do not identify with your profession or degrees, they are merely small derivatives of your personality of a specific point in time; do not fix your house surgically to eliminate all traces of living when guests come; do not create a false sense of self based on your social media posts, look around your room and see who you really are; do not derive pleasure from the simplicity of your opinion or beliefs if they came to be the way they are by implementing a tunnel vision of perspective, instead ask yourself what is the other route; do not be biased through thinking other people are biased; do not think you are open minded if you compare it with the narrow mindedness of others, opened mindedness believes in openness of everyone, no matter how close they seem; do not think others are a threat to you, if this is the case then the only threat is yourself; do not laugh at others if you do not understand where they are coming from, not everything works the way you think; do not think you can do everything on your own, this leads to a lonely life without its solitary pleasures; do not think you found the solution towards a better society through getting together and complaining about how bad the current one is; do not work in terms of what you want in life, but what you want most - it is important to know which desire you will love enough so you let it win; do not think one truth excludes other possibilities of truths, approach truth as a state of superposition; do not think in terms of how things are, think in terms of how things relate to each other; do not be afraid of changing your opinion, be afraid of stagnating in one; do not speak bad of established institutions without first objectively understanding all that they are and stand for, eliminate your feelings when making this judgement; do not think you are different or more enlightened if you choose not to go with the direction everyone is going, specifically if your choice endangers people; do not define subculture as a group of people that go against the establishment, instead see it as something that moves differently from it; do not be cool, be hot full of life, burning potential, challenging questions and difficult paths of growth - embrace the heat that is attached to existence, do not try to freeze it; do not feel weird if you cannot participate in small talk, in fact, make them big. BE YOU without extensions or additions, just you - the living, breathing, ever-evolving, honest, multi passionate you.

Rant after run