“Walking is mapping with your feet. It helps you piece a city together, connecting up neighbourhoods that might otherwise have remained discrete entities, different planets bound to each other, sustained yet remote. I like seeing how in fact they blend into one another, I like noticing the boundaries between them. Walking helps me feel at home. There’s a small pleasure in seeing how well I’ve come to know the city through my wanderings on foot, crossing through different neighbourhoods of the city, some I used to know quite well, others I may not have seen in a while, like getting reacquainted with someone I once met at a party.”
Unpopular take: Not all intimacy and vulnerability have to be developed through the societally beloved "communication solves everything" funnel.
I don't think that communication solves everything, especially in its elusive and technologically entrenched current state. What would be a more useful discussion in my opinion is how to cultivate quality communication based on individual needs and styles specific to those individuals aka there is no "one size fits all". I'd like to develop communication of a higher quality rather than quantity as I believe it would help lead to those relationship-specific adjustments. I think the same thing extends to this idea of "self care" that's continually shoved down my throat. Is it a semantics thing? Thinking of an argument by Zadie Smith that contemplates how drastically changing our terminology could also help reframe/reshape the ways that we think about the principles themselves.
I think practical discussion about material improvements and methods beyond "going for a walk" or "treat yourself" or "HOW IS IT SERVING YOU" would also be helpful.
I also think there's an understated value in non-communicative forms of intimacy and vulnerability - that is, beyond verbal communications. The more silent I am, the better I feel. The less reactionary I have been and instead, more responsive to my inner reflections and distinguishing between being present and being "around" have enhanced my relationship with myself as well as others.
More on this another time.
There's something about an adolescence spent online that's difficult to remember. There’s an embarrassment to dredging these things up. In general, the internet is so focused on the present that it’s difficult to recall what it looked like even a few years ago, a few months ago. It’s like remembering a dream, it doesn’t seem to have actually happened despite the fact that you experienced it.
Beyond that, culture doesn't provide imagery of “early memories” that account for the cyborg experience of being online. What are some of the cliches? Running around in nature, walking up the stairs of an old house, a first kiss—these are physical experiences, not virtual ones.
And yet here we are—“we” being people young enough to have had our social, psychological, sexual, cultural, etc., etc., development massively impacted by the internet and its associated technologies.
One of the contributing artists told me that working on this was like participating in group therapy.