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Unpopular take: Not all intimacy and vulnerability have to be developed through the societally beloved "communication solves everything" funnel.

I don't think that communication solves everything, especially in its elusive and technologically entrenched current state. What would be a more useful discussion in my opinion is how to cultivate quality communication based on individual needs and styles specific to those individuals aka there is no "one size fits all". I'd like to develop communication of a higher quality rather than quantity as I believe it would help lead to those relationship-specific adjustments. I think the same thing extends to this idea of "self care" that's continually shoved down my throat. Is it a semantics thing? Thinking of an argument by Zadie Smith that contemplates how drastically changing our terminology could also help reframe/reshape the ways that we think about the principles themselves.

I think practical discussion about material improvements and methods beyond "going for a walk" or "treat yourself" or "HOW IS IT SERVING YOU" would also be helpful.

I also think there's an understated value in non-communicative forms of intimacy and vulnerability - that is, beyond verbal communications. The more silent I am, the better I feel. The less reactionary I have been and instead, more responsive to my inner reflections and distinguishing between being present and being "around" have enhanced my relationship with myself as well as others.

More on this another time.

New Intimacies — Emily Nabnian
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