I was born from some accident involving a toxic spill, bubbling out of hazardous waste... when i stood to my two feet, i clunked my head on a couch two guys from a moving company were carrying. that knocked me to the gutter and i was immediately swept away.  the dirty water that carried me wasnt quite as rich as the radioactive Similac sludge, but gave me what i needed.  i fell into a sewer.  while normal children were getting their lunches packed by their moms, i was in a sewer system learning how to whistle.  one day i whistled so loud a man poked his head in and said “hey youre a great whistler, what are you doin down here?”  i never learned any language spoke by people above ground so i replied “[email protected] OWWWHADA BU-AH”  the man apparently knew the sewer languages so he picked me up and carried me to a small brick apartment building.  he left me in the backyard while he went inside for something.  i watched him and his wife eat dinner in the kitchen through the lit window.  i sat in the back yard with plucked grass in my hands.  i ate a cricket while waiting.  the next morning the man came outside and said, “oh you, i forgot about you.  Boy, youre ugly, couldnt see so well last night, but now its light out i can get a good look at your face”  I was ugly.  The man later known as Frank, was to raise me.  At first he tried to sell me to strange pet shop owners Downtown but i guess he had a change of heart.  His wife, Cornelia, would give me the corn bits and potato skins left over from dinner.  i loved eating potato skins. some nights when Frank and Cornelia had company over, i would be dressed in an English sailor suit and wig and dance and whistle for the guests.  When i became old enough to help Frank in his scrap business, i decided to part ways.  By then i had learned a little bit of the language they spoke, “hey Pal, Why not? go ?? Im going-go. Bu-yh”  i smiled in confidence.  Frank, however, cried, “my little sewer baby is too old to love.  Your face is as ugly as a steam iron”.  I found a little room in the city for 5$ a night, granted i cleaned the chimney all the time.  one night while inside the chimney i found small carvings in the bricks.  they showed how to draw.

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