Telling people at the beginning of their careers that doing the shit jobs builds humility is reinforcing the idea that value comes from hard work, and that work is only hard if it’s painful

This concept gets filtered through all aspects of US society—for instance, saying a romantic relationship requires work is saying a romantic relationship requires and is worth pain

We don’t say that about friendships… and yet I do put in effort toward my friends. But it’s not painful, it’s not obligated, it’s not hard, it’s not happening 24/7… it’s appropriate and joyous bc it feels good to connect and be there for ppl u love

Something that explains the difference between ‘conflict avoidance to perpetuate “confort” leadings to “hard work” in rom relationships’ and ‘engaging in relationship which allows for + actively addresses discomfort without causing unnecessary suffering’ — idk if my wording is right here

Anyway, I think these are probs 3 diff things to expand upon (although interrelated, as is… everything)