2.0 Journal Entry 03-30-21
I feel like I have walked down to a hallway and there are 20 doors calling to me—each with a different possible outcome. This shit I find incredibly overwhelming. Talking with people about my project in the last check in I felt I was able to start to articulate where I wanted to take this, I started to see it take a physical form for the first time in this process. But then I was met with a lot of really interesting feedback that poses 20 different outcomes. I recognize this feedback does something other than just “re-route me” and I want to use it as a way to inform some of my decisions to follow but not totally lose sight of what I had in mind.
I also had a practice interview with my sister over the weekend. It was INCREDIBLY helpful to have this conversation (especially with someone I do not feel pressured by). I found some kinks in the delivery of questions and came up with some follow up questions that sparked our conversation to go deeper. I also asked her to “diagram her day” and she drew something so strange and different from what I had expected. And depending on how the other interviews go I want to include this diagram as a map for the abstract landscapes I visualize.
I also spoke with her about the citational aspect that I want to incorporate as creating connective tissue for myself to reference but also for someone to gain something from looking through my work. But I asked her about the anonymity of my interviews feeling kind of the opposite of this hyper citational approach I want to take. She recommended I ask people for pseudonyms as a way for them to add to this fictitious future history. And after reading Ursula Le Guin’s Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction and material from Legacy Russell and Mckenzie Wark—I feel like the fiction of this world can become the space to identify in a different way—while not being directly connected to your real identity.
Like I said earlier, I still feel a bit overwhelmed, but I plan to knock out three or four more interviews this week and the start of next and to continue to create assets for this publication whilst I interview people (allowing the conversations to evolve my work as they happen). I also have more risograph time on Thursday where I will hopefully run some more motion tests (and see how they could connect to a static format).
I also need to start working a little bit faster so that I can make ugly things and get to the good. I feel a little stalled, a combination of my own menstrual cycle, career day, and just good old fashion procrastination. But I think I can spark my brain again and get myself working at a different pace, hopefully.