“I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabrics of their life.” —Leo Tolstoy, "What Is Art?" (1897)
“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.” —Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God Is Within You (1894)
“You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you ~can~ do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.”
“The goal of therapy is to help the patient go beyond intellectualization and rationalization and other resistive maneuvers to the point where he can move into uncharted territories to seek and find the anguish and terror of total realization and discover that he can survive. To know that life can be truly absurd and capricious; that one is not omnipotent; that without magic as the ultimate defense, there is pain at times which hurts more than words can describe. And after the grief and the mourning, not only for the lost objects of one’s fantasies, but for the fantasies and illusions themselves, to be able to live relatively without illusion. To know Time as a friend as well as an enemy. To recognize that happiness is not a condition, but an ephemeral and precious experience, that if one lives without illusion one must impart meaning to one’s life; that hope must replace expectations and demands; that activity must replace passivity; that realistic hope must be directed towards the expansion and growth of one’s potentialities, which implies experiencing more richly both sorrow and joy.”
⊙ James Hollis, The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other
i heard someone say recently that they've switched the idea of discipline to devotion, and its stuck with me ever since
3:30 AM · Jun 5, 2023
the noblest fragment of a broken heart is the lack of its need for recognition; because it is only the person who mattered the most, that ever mattered at all.