In stepping out of fear and into the unknown, we must stop trying to predict patterns, as we search for past experiences to compare feelings to. In order to experience something completely new, we have to allow for something to unfold in its own way, without trying to control or predict it. It is to surrender. In this we allow for it to surprise us in a way that creates a new experience. And we begin to re-write a new story, a new self. And in here is where we begin to experience life in its infinite potential. -Dani Ortman
I try to take myself as who I am today, in this chapter, because I understand that my life unfolds over sand dunes and not mountaintops. It is always shifting beneath my feet, sometimes on the up, other times on the down or even the sides. There is no mountaintop. A mountaintop implies stasis anyway, yet the process of becoming never ends. The knot of wanting, the web of betterment... they never untangle.
There are no destinations. Just open road, some good views, and the shedding of multiple skins until the last one.
Do you feel the weight of time?
Why does it hold so strong?
One moment it will be all fine
And nothing will be on my mind
Then suddenly I'll see a sign
That I can't deny
i love listening. it is one of the only spaces where you can be still and moved at the same time.
The dark night of the soul is painful because we’re shedding countless layers of conditioning while trying to process everything we thought was true but now realize it’s not.
It’s as though we’re caterpillars waiting to become butterflies but, for some reason, the transformation can’t happen yet.
I can’t tell you how to cope with it in the meantime, but let’s just remind ourselves that we’re healing and that we’ll come out stronger on the other side.
Liminality seems to be the order of this pandemic moment — with the normal receding and the new still unclear.