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cheryl charli
how to love
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studies of passion and love where people arent objects and love isnt conditional or transactional OR how to exist and love in a capitalist consumerist world

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Anything, How To Fall In Love, A Loving Practice, Uhm, How 2 Communicate 😬 Relational Existence, mhU , connecting, 🤍 love to love, understanding and togetherness , Love Me Tender, on love, romance, words, love , surrendering ♡, Texts & Philosophy, (modern romantics), oh sh*t * th*nk *’* ** ****, Complexities of Love, things i heard and saw , and A language called l o v e
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Love has something to do with the notion of being seen — the opposite of invisibility. The invisible, the unwitnessed, the unacknowledged, the isolated, the lonely — these are the unloved. Loving attention illuminates the unseen, escorting them from the frontiers of lovelessness into the observed world. To truly see someone — anyone — is an act that acknowledges and forgives our common and imperfect humanity. Love enacts a kind of vigilant perception — whether it is to a partner, a child, a co-worker, a neighbour, a fellow citizen, or any other person one may encounter in this life. Love says softly — I see you. I recognise you. You are human, as am I.

— Nick Cave, The Red Hand Files Issue #103

Nick Cave
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Nothing Personal by James Baldwin
Nothing Personal by James Baldwin
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SIX LEVELS OF VALIDATION

  1. Being Present: giving your complete attention to the person struggling in a non-judgmental way

  2. Accurate Reflection: Summarize what the person has said, try to really understand and not judge the person’s experience

  3. Reading someone’s behavior and guessing what they may be thinking or feeling: pay attention to the person’s emotional state and label their emotion or infer how they may be feeling. Be sure to check in with the person to make sure your guess is accurate!

  4. Understanding someone’s behavior in terms of their history and biology: think about how someone’s past experiences may be affecting how they are feeling now, in this moment or situation.

  5. Normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have: recognize that many people may feel the way that you or the other person is feeling in a given situation and let them know that it’s okay to feel this way as many people do.

  6. Radical genuineness: this happens when you are able to understand how someone is feeling on a deeper, personal level. Perhaps, you have had a similar experience. Sharing that with the other person can help to validate their feelings and reactions.

Jeanette Winterson, The Gap of Time
Jeanette Winterson, The Gap of Time
Julietta Singh - No Archive Will Restore You
Julietta Singh - No Archive Will Restor…
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