The world is not a collection of things, it is a collection of events. A stone is prototypical ‘thing’: we can ask ourselves where it will be tomorrow. Conversely, a kiss is an 'event’. It makes no sense to ask where the kiss will be tomorrow. The world is made up of networks of kisses, not of stones. On closer inspection, in fact, even the things that are most 'thing-like’ are nothing more than long events.
| Carlo Rovelli
I love you like something that does not even know it loves another thing.
–Clarice Lispector, The Egg and the Chicken
Safety-first love, like everything governed by the norm of safety, implies the absence of risks for people who have a good insurance policy, a good army, a good police force, a good psychological take on personal hedonism, and all risks for those on the opposite side.
Risk and adventure must be re-invented against safety and comfort.
Alain Badiou. In Praise of Love
Principles in development for Liberated Relationships:
Radical honesty: No omissions, no white lies, no projections. Ask the questions you really want answered, speak your truth, and let the relationship build inside all that reality. Just a note from experience, the small lies can be the hardest tot shop telling. "No I don't want to get on the phone right now, can we just text?"; "I'm busy catching up on my reality TV show"; "Real cow milk ice cream"; or "I know I said I didn't want to ___, but now I do." However, the more you practice this, the more you will find yourself spending your waking hours in the ways you want to, the ways that honor the miracle of your existence, which was not given to you to waste in polite avoidance of hurting people's feelings. You will find that you can be honest and kind, you can be honest and compassionate.
Acknowledge the dynamics, then keep growing. Have an understanding on the front end of the race, class, gender, ability, geographic, and other power dynamics that exist between you. And also remember that there are constructs. Be in the complexity of living inside these constructs while evolving between them through relationship.
Relinquish Frankenstein. You are not creating people to be with, or work with, some idealized individuals made of perfect parts of personality that you discovered on your life journey. You are meeting individuals with their own full lives behind and ahead of them. Stop trying to make and fix others, and instead be curious about what they have made of themselves.
When you’re lying next to someone and your whole body is against his whole body how far are you from each other? You are about a foot apart: the distance from the stomach to the stomach.
Stomach is the point of measuring. it’s the [emptiest part and so therefore] the center. The center is the spot you're trying to fill.