What things do I love about this person that are entirely independent from what they do for me?

50 Ways To Fuel A Conversation, by Debrah Fine

<ol>
<li>Be the first to say hello.
2 Introduce yourself to others.</li>
<li>Take risks and anticipate success.</li>
<li>Remember your sense of humor.</li>
<li>Practice different ways of starting a conversation</li>
<li>Make an extra effort to remember people’s names.</li>
<li>Ask a person’s name if you’ve forgotten it.</li>
<li>Show curiosity and sincere interest in finding out about others.</li>
<li>Tell others about the important events in your life. Don’t wait for them to draw it out.</li>
<li>Demonstrate that you are listening by restating their comments in another way.</li>
<li>Communicate enthusiasm and excitement about your subjects and life in general</li>
<li>Go out of your way to try to meet new people wherever you are.</li>
<li>Accept a person’s right to be an individual with different ideas and beliefs.</li>
<li>Let the natural person in you come out when talking with others.</li>
<li>Be able to succinctly tell others-in a few short sentences-what you do.</li>
<li>Reintroduce yourself to someone who...</li>
</ol>

How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved. 

Freud

“What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.”

— Viktor Frankl