i don't know if i'm cut out to be a designer. i don't think i'm cut out to be an ad or cd or anyone that is coming up with the ideas and making the decisions. i certainly didn't plan to be that person when i was in school.

i sit in meetings and listen to the redacted go on in monologues of punchy design words and confusing brand lingo. half the time i don't think anyone knows what he is saying. he is so removed from me, he appears in meetings to say things at us and then he is never to be seen. i don't know what he does all day besides his monologues.

i think i should explore other positions within the creative industry that aren't design positions. i just simply don't think i've got it (or at least enough of it to meet my standards (they are high)) to be the designer i want to be.

maybe i could be a producer, project manager, or anything that else that gets me out of social world. social world is what sucks away at my soul and i just don't know what design really is outside of it. organic, paid, i seriously do not care and will do anything to not be a social designer (that's my actual title unfortunately)