There is love that leaves you wanting, and is it their fault or yours? Are we just fucked up inside? Do we put up with things we shouldn’t? Are we hiding our true selves? Are we living in a world of make believe, hoping they’ll love the make believe in a way they could never love our damaged selves?
There is love that makes you wish we were old already, sitting in our rocking chairs, drinking iced tea.
There is love that feels familiar, makes you breathe deeper and with relief.
There is love that makes your breath quicken, like your head is on fire, like you can fly, makes you race up stairs, makes you run, towards it or away, towards it or away, with fear chasing behind you or leading the way.

I want a new economic...
one who's ideology of "you are inherently worthy" is the central praxis...
i remember having friends & comrades throughout the years that are deeply entrenched in spiritual practices always saying this to help affirm me... usually these were black non binary or femmes, and I think it finally hit me last year more than ever that this is one of the most anti-capitalist sentiments that ever exist...

Capitalism asks the direct opposite of that - constantly we are being asked to define our worth time & time again

healing from capitalism means that we have to redefine how & where we place value in our lives...

what do you value? how do you seek to be given to? to receive?
what allows you to sustainably give to others? **

Shit should be less about proving ourselves, more as offerings * but truly, not harboring resentments with people if they do not show up as we wish they did

Some thoughts to move forward -

+Seeking & prioritizing the point of most empowerment within every situation in which power is being weaponized or casing harm,
+Shifting into abundance vs. sacristy mentality - means decolonizing, seeing that sacristy is a myth that has us wanting to be against each other
We need to be able to tap into the abundance of wealth and knowledge that exists within us, which means
+Collaboration vs. Competition -
working together, honoring each other's needs, not martyring ourselves
but also with a respect for autonomy, and peoples personal capacity & interest..
+Sharing instead of Hoarding - also means getting over fear, allowing time with our gifts so that we can give our offerings in confidence and full faith,
+A commitment to change, be fluid
+Constant curiosity, intergeneration
+Barter systems

Doing work that actually feels like it matters to all those involved.
Economics deal with the state of getting our needs met, expanding in the material world, and being able to have the agency to exist materially -
I want an economic structure that honors the pace of the earth,
pace of my internal body, honors my emotional body,
that honors and recognizes internal validation
Things feel overwhelming like we're here right now having to respond to what it means to be in direct opposition with

Moving to an economic structure
Releasing expectations & entitlements when giving - means giving when u can
not out of obligation *

Rests on these key concepts -
One that values internal process just as much as external process (if not more?)

Shifting Power structures
means shifting from one that thrives on external forms of validation to internal forms of validation
moving at a slower, more deliberate pace/intentional space
more individuals desire to be able to meet their own needs, but also be in collective mindset in which we are also deeply entrenched..

one that acknowledges