To every desire, wish, want, need, goal, longing, decision, path:
“And what would that get me?”
“And then, what would that get me?”
Go until you get to the feeling you’re after, then begin to practice feeling that as much as you can. Notice what allows it, what makes it valent, what blocks it. Notice how much you might be able to choose to feel it without requiring certain experiences too. Live toward the feeling you want, and most of the rest will work out just fine.
- Do I learn new things from this person?
- Do they show me things about myself?
- Do they show up for me like I do for them?
- Do I feel held?
- Do I feel safe?
- Do I feel seen?
- Can I be my authentic self around them?
- Do they communicate efficiently?
- Does my inner child feel safe around them?
- Have they done their inner work? Or are they willing to do so?
- What is their experience of love previously? (this will affect how they love me)
- Does this connection nourish my soul or feed the ego?