As a hard worker who is often pushed to the limits, and who spends much of my free time on “side projects,” I have taken several unpaid breaks that I couldn’t afford, just to rest. Productivity addiction, like other types of addictions, is a coping mechanism. It’s a habit formed to ward off emotional distress that gets louder when the mind gets quieter; a habit that can go on for a while before realizing you are actually suffering. But eventually, working hard on terms that don’t feel naturally good leaves little space for reflection, and no time to refocus.
context: i made this board a month before shelter-in-place.... when i was past the point of burnout.
i didn't really have much language or point of reference for how i was feeling at the time.
but in retrospect, now, it was obvious that the only person who couldn't see it was me.
after i got laid off, and had my unemployment taken care of, i just sat with myself for a bit. asked myself a lot questions about what i wanted out of life and the role i play in capitalism.