Hypotheses > Don't see situations as if they need definite answers, then striving to design those answers. See situations as pretexts to wonder, assume incomplete knowledge, and design tools/protocols to further investigate and continuously reframe those situations; the former is outcome-based, the latter: process-based.
Contra >The snag is, that the whole conceptual framework, system boundaries, criteria, faintly envisaged trajectories, possible tools, collaborators, in other words - the components of the process - become an outcome to be designed first.
Synthesis > The real question is: how can you apply process-oriented thinking to devise the very tools and initiatal conditions that are needed for the investigated process to run?
Well, if anything, that requires time, and expectation shift (from the urge to deliver findings to settling for delivery of tools as stage-1 outcome.)
and sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in
It’s important not to get excessively attached to this feeling of grounding and stability, as your self if always changing and reacting to its new environments. It’s okay to lose your footing once in a while. Life is never certain and there is immeasurable beauty in being shaken down. It’s in these moments of confusion that we let the suppressed parts of ourselves breathe. We give air and make space for the parts we generally try to push down and hide. We learn to nurture the most disowned facets of of the Self - as they need expression too. In the end, they are only unbalanced manifestations of love, who at their core seek only to feel seen.
Of course I'll hurt you. Of course you'll hurt me. Of course we'll hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
“Q: how does he love you?
A: with boldness
Q: and how does he look at you?
A: with grief”
∆ Salma Deera, “Joan of Arc in Interview” from The Burning Ones
"You're not as cold as you pretend to be," she said. "I think your doors open in different places, that's all. Most people just don't know how to get into you. They knock and they knock where the door is supposed to be, but it's a blank wall. But you're there. I've watched you. I've seen you do some awfully cold things warmly and some warm things coldly. Or does that make sense?" –Mr. Bridge by Evan S. Connell