When I suddenly see myself in the mirror, I take fright. I can scarcely believe that I have limits, that I am outlined and defined. I feel myself to be dispersed in the atmosphere, thinking inside other creatures, living inside things beyond myself. When I suddenly see myself in the mirror, I am not startled because I find myself ugly or beautiful. When I haven't looked at myself for some time, I almost forget that I am human...there is so much in me beyond what is known, so much that remains ever silent.
| Clarice Lispector
“You have to cultivate relationships with people who can see more than you and who can see differently than you, so that together your co-imagination becomes something that actually works for everyone.”
Adrienne Maree, Brown on Creating the Future
Another Favorite Line: The idea is to make each other feel good, not to solve the fate of your relationship. That's an offer you can't refuse
These are some of my favorite moments, when one of us has gone somewhere else, and then we come back to each other.
– T Fleischmann, Time is the thing a body moves through
My favorite word of the moment is “consociation,” which is a zoology term for forms of cooperation, but in a non-zoological context it means cooperative relationships that are antagonistic, but that work together because of this friction.
Saibhung - A Gurmukhi word that means self-existent.
“Beyond similarities and differences, there is a stronger factor: the feeling and perception that the other person is secure in themselves; they exhibit the quality of self-love, self-security, and a sense of completeness and autonomy which we call saibhung. No matter where you may personally lie on the scale of security or insecurity, introversion or extraversion, Aries, Libra or other astrological types, the person who is most attractive is someone who is secure, self-contained and who is confident within themselves. Their capacity for self-love, not narcissism or vain entanglement with the ego, is the quality that attracts and allows you to authentically connect with and love another person.
“A robust capacity for self-love establishes a secure center within us. That secure center empowers us to deal with the many polarities and paradoxes that make up our internal mental and emotional life. From that place of stillness within our consciousness we can appreciate and optimize all of our characteristics and quirks, act with true flexibility and master the power of forgiveness for ourselves and others. It opens the way to naturally using the neutral mind and leads to better decisions that are more creative, effective and subtle.
“That sense of self-completeness and self-love we call saibhung is actually the most unshakable and fundamental similarity. It is self-similarity in our spirit, psyche and values. It represents a state of congruity and integration of the many parts of our personality and our existence. We also call that self- consistency. We perceive our self accurately. We love our self. And we see that each action and thought is qualified through the consciousness of that self before and as we agree to it. No condition of the environment can shake that security. We deliver to our self and to others trustworthiness and confidence. Instead of self-conflict we show self-determination to be who we are.
“To attain saibhung, we need a real experience of our true self and a sustained relationship with it. Yoga creates that secure base. Beginning with the yoga between the mother and child and continuing on as we cultivate a dynamic union of our polarities each day—our inhale and exhale, our conscious and our subconscious, our finite and infinite parts of our being—we master the swing of opposites and hold to a clear center of consciousness from which we can sustain authentic relationships.”