People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened every day and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”
If you resist the reality of slow progress, five years from now you'll simply be five years older and still looking for a shortcut.
if there's a dream speaking to you right now, but fear is the only thing stopping you. question, where is that fear from? what narratives have repeated so many in your head about that fear that it's become the default way of thinking? work towards the root of your fear, and figure out if you're open to rerouting that fear into possibilities.
sanctuary in the form of stable housing that allows for fun and flexibility in my daily life
a stocked kitchen
art on the walls
candles that i like