Seeing beyond duality
The reason why we feel lack when experiencing someone else’s abundance is because we see relationships in terms of duality.
However, it’s possible to leave that paradigm. Here’s what happens when you do:
- You stop thinking about love in quantifiable terms (The question of “do you love her more than me?” stops existing, and hierarchization tendencies might stop making sense);
- You stop treating love as a zero-sum game, where someone loving someone else makes them love you any less;
- You no longer let your emotions affect your logical thinking (“Just because I feel hurt, it doesn’t mean that I am less than I was before — it actually makes me stronger”);
- You start seeing your relationships as opportunities to create, rather than obsessively trying to “fix” things;
- You love every single bit of life all the same — pleasant or unpleasant, big or small, unexpected or certain.
The way to escape non-duality in your relationships is by practicing gratitude for everything that you already have in your partner as an individual, and in the relationship you have created together.