"In fact, codependency is an experience in a relationship where one or both people believe that they need the other to survive (just like a person might believe that they need alcohol or drugs to survive). This loss of power contributes to powerlessness and an unhealthy dependence upon a person in a relationship. Thus a co-dependency develops. .

In order to unlearn anything, the primary step is learning to become more aware of what you’re already doing. To the extent that powerlessness is woven into the fabric of your daily functioning, it can lead to patterns of caretaking, low self-worth, controlling, denial, poor communication, weak boundaries, anger, and lack of trust in an intimate relationship.The belief in being powerless in your life leads to a dysfunctional relying on others for things that you can and should do on your own.To heal this, you might ask yourself questions about whether powerlessness is playing a role in the way you relate to your partner. You might also see if you can recognize any of the patterns just mentioned in your own life.

Another way to become more and more aware of yourself and your relationship patterns is to work with a professional. In fact, you’re likely to find a mental health provider, such as a counselor or psychologist, who is familiar with the patterns of codependency and can facilitate healing it in your life. You might also read about it, exploring what others have written about and learning by their experiences. Lastly, once you learn new ways of relating to your partner, you might experiment and see how that affects the relationship. You might play with believing in your own power and turning away from a need to rely on your partner. You might avoid enabling your partner and facilitate empowerment in him or her

If you’re in recovery and you’re ready to get into a new relationship, learning to heal from codependency might be the very tool you need to create a healthy, loving partnership."

Unlearning Codependency in Recovery by Transcend: A Recovery Community)

[C]codependency is an experience in a r…