"In fact, codependency is an experience in a relationship where one or both people believe that they need the other to survive (just like a person might believe that they need alcohol or drugs to survive). This loss of power contributes to powerlessness and an unhealthy dependence upon a person in a relationship. Thus a co-dependency develops. .
In order to unlearn anything, the primary step is learning to become more aware of what you’re already doing. To the extent that powerlessness is woven into the fabric of your daily functioning, it can lead to patterns of caretaking, low self-worth, controlling, denial, poor communication, weak boundaries, anger, and lack of trust in an intimate relationship.The belief in being powerless in your life leads to a dysfunctional relying on others for things that you can and should do on your own.To heal this, you might ask yourself questions about whether powerlessness is playing a role in the way you relate to your partner. You might also see if you can recognize any of the patterns just mentioned in your own life.
Another way to become more and more aware of yourself and your relationship patterns is to work with a professional. In fact, you’re likely to find a mental health provider, such as a counselor or psychologist, who is familiar with the patterns of codependency and can facilitate healing it in your life. You might also read about it, exploring what others have written about and learning by their experiences. Lastly, once you learn new ways of relating to your partner, you might experiment and see how that affects the relationship. You might play with believing in your own power and turning away from a need to rely on your partner. You might avoid enabling your partner and facilitate empowerment in him or her
If you’re in recovery and you’re ready to get into a new relationship, learning to heal from codependency might be the very tool you need to create a healthy, loving partnership."
"OK. I mean when you think about language and you think about consciousness, it’s just incredible to think that we can make any sounds that can reach over across to each other at all. Because I mean I think we’re — I think the beauty of being human is that we are incredibly, intimately near each other, we know about each other, but yet we do not know or never can know what it’s like inside another person.
And it’s amazing, here am I sitting in front of you now, looking at your face, you’re looking at mine, and yet neither of us have ever seen our own faces, and that in some way, thought is the face that we put on the meaning that we feel and that we struggle with, and that the world is always larger and more intense and stranger than our best thought will ever reach. And that’s the mystery of poetry. Poetry tries to draw alongside the mystery as it’s emerging and somehow bring it into presence and into birth."
"as we are speaking, that there are individuals holding out on frontlines, holding the humane tissue alive in areas of ultimate barbarity, where things are visible that the human eye should never see. And they’re able to sustain it, because there is, in them, some kind of sense of beauty that knows the horizon that we are really called to in some way. I love Pascal’s phrase, that you should always keep something beautiful in your mind"
"Warmth, growth, light and movement are yang (spring and summer, positive, masculine, active, fast), whilst coolness, rest, darkness, and nourishment are yin (autumn and winter, negative, feminine, passive, slow)."
"(In Taoism:) each season's start and finish depends on the slow but ever-changing movement of qi in nature and the planet, and this gives each season its own vibration. As we are inherently connected to the environment, our bodies are attuned to that vibration."
"In Taoism, every moment defines the meaning of life. You're not striving towards meaning – you are living it."
Don’t be afraid to suffer—take your heaviness / and give it back to the earth’s own weight / the mountains are heavy, the oceans are heavy.
∆ Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Poetry of Rilke; “Sonnets to Orpheus”