Feel Good does such a good job discussing addiction and sobriety, and especially the underlying issues.
Yep, yep, yep. “Alcohol is but a symptom” is what they say in recovery meetings. A lot of us use relationships as a balm. We’re like, Love me, and then I won’t have to deal with myself. I was always that kind of person, too. There were so many things I wanted in my life — I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted to be an actor — but I was really scared. So I would occupy my time with crushes. I would have crushes on people, and I would let it be so all-consuming. Because it was easier to think about them than to, like, write. Which I think is why, ultimately, the person with whom I make a life is another creative person. He’s like, “I’m gonna go write.” He’s not here for me to be obsessed with him. He’s like, “I’m gonna go do stuff; you should do stuff too.” And I’m like “Ugh, fine.”
‘Still, she wishes she hadn’t even released music under her name. It would have made the mental compartmentalization easier. She only uses her initials on her streaming accounts. “Seeing my name just reminds me of the world. It’s just not mine anymore,” she says. “I am a foreigner to myself now.”’
— E. Alex Jung, quotes from Mitski in this article
“The territorial relationship fans form with Mitski feels intense, and the irony of commercial success for an introvert might be encapsulated in how an entire crowd will drown her out when she sings, ‘My God, I’m so lonely.’”
— E. Alex Jung in this profile
Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything.
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
⚘ Adrift – Mark Nepo
The teachers told us quietly that the way of experts had become a tricky way. They told us it would always be fatal to our arts to misuse the skills we had learned. The skills themselves were merely light shells, needing to be filled out with substance coming from our souls. They warned us never to turn these skills to the service of things separate from the way. This would be the most difficult thing.
⚘ Ayi Kewi Armah
When someone truly sees us and, in caring, urges us into the warmth of a loving embrace, we leave the darkness in which we have taken refuge and come once more into the light.
⚘ Stephen Harrod Buhner, The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature