The thing about old friends is not that they love you, but that they know you. They remember that disastrous New Year's Eve when you mixed White Russians and champagne, and how you wore that red maternity dress until everyone was sick of seeing the blaze of it in the office, and the uncomfortable couch in your first apartment and the smoky stove in your beach rental. They look at you and don't really think you look older because they've grown old along with you, and, like the faded paint in a beloved room, they're used to the look. And then one of them is gone, and you've lost a chunk of yourself. The stories of the terrorist attacks of 2001, the tsunami, the Japanese earthquake always used numbers, the deaths of thousands a measure of how great the disaster. Catastrophe is numerical. Loss is singular, one beloved at a time.
| Anna Quindlen, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go
Mary Oliver, In Blackwater Woods
Once upon a time people were born into communities and had to find their individuality. Today people are born individuals and have to find their communities.
K-HOLE, Youth Mode: A Report on Freedom
Each friend represents a world in us, a world that is possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in that encounter that a new world can emerge. – Anaïs Nin
Whenever I give a talk about my work I am invariably asked who my influences are. Not what my influences are, but who. As if the gutter, misunderstandings, memories, sex, dreams, and books matter less than the forebears do. After all, in terms of influences, it is as much the guy who mugged me on 10th Street, or my beloved dog who passed away much too early, as it was Giotto or Diane Arbus.
∆ Robert Gober
People in my life with the power to break my heart”
“Love isn’t just a matter of looking at someone, I think now, but also of looking with them, of facing what they face.”
– Garth Greenwell, What Belongs to You
...the way we talk about partnership — even the word “partner,” increasingly popular as a gender-neutral term, but also one oddly reminiscent of the workplace, the boardroom, the law firm — still reflects the origins of the family as a complementary institution to the job.... Love is still just another form of alienated labor.
– Sarah Jaffe, Against Loving Your Job
...who we choose to love and, by extension, invest in is political.
Investing in people is also investing bodies and this does not exist outside out of historical priorities and possibilities.