“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum
Self Doubt — Doing Difficult Things
Use the support available to you. Talk, don’t shut off, communicate. Things grow out of hand when they're not addressed and the people around you are there to help you.
Take a deep breath and calm down. Have faith in what you’ve been immersing yourself in and separate that from the nerves and doubt.
Run over the essentials. Refresh your knowledge and perspective. Synthesise into the simplest idea.
Remember that anyone could draw, theoretically. It’s just hard and requires continually being assaulted by failure. Saying “I can’t” means “I’m not going to try”. What else are you going to do? Try. Keep a growth mindset.
Take a step back and cut off sources of saturation and distraction. Limit your sources of input while you reassess and distill.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Honestly just don’t look at other people’s work or their bios or their skillsets. There are times for tunnel vision; this is one of them.
Get out of your head. Try to objectively assess the hard skills you need and take the emotion out of it. Make a plan to develop them.
Don’t make any extreme decisions.
It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly… Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. Throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly, on tiptoes and no luggage,
| Aldous Huxley
that nearly everything in life is circular: there’s an opening and a close, a start and a finish. Life, he says, is a collection of large circles enclosing smaller ones. Birth to death. Childhood. A year. A month. “And the smallest circle of all,” he writes, “is the day; even a day has its beginning and its ending, its sunrise and its sunset.”
“When you invent the ship, you also invent the shipwreck; when you invent the plane you also invent the plane crash… and when you invent electricity, you invent electrocution… Every technology carries its own negativity, which is invented at the same time as technical progress.” — Paul Virilio