little things that aren't little:
"of course i remember"
the ability to maintain a journal
comfortable silence
people apologizing for things that happened a long time ago
chopped fruits from parents
the last bite
being asked for your opinion
minor tone changes
texting first
when they offer you their coat
pep talks
"you were right"
when they give you the bigger slice
when you're both running late
a calmed nervous system when around them
when they pay attention to what you show them
"i feel the same way"

How to show up more, and show up sincerely: reframe commitment as a gift.

Davis says that there are three fears that seem to account for why we can’t commit ourselves to one thing: the fear of regret (worrying that we’ll later regret not committing to something else), the fear of association (worrying over how it will affect our identity, reputation, and sense of control), and the fear of missing out (worrying that “the responsibilities that come with it will prevent us from being everything, everywhere, with everyone”).

There’s good news, though. “On the other side of these fears are great gifts,” Davis says. “On the other side of the fear of regret is the freedom of purpose, on the other side of the fear of association is the comfort of community, and on the other side of the fear of missing out is the joy of depth. These are what await you if you are ready to commit. To remain commitment-less is not a gift to your future self — it’s a denial to your future self the delights of purpose, community, and depth.”