Humans have never been simple. Unlike the machines we build, humans are pulsing with fluids and symbionts, riddled with ancient evolutionary paths working in concert with an awesome neo-cortex. Let’s face it, computational models of cognition have never been fully adequate to the wetware within, or the biological environment without.
"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration."
“Cities are no more artificial than Bee-hives. The internet is as natural as a spider’s web. We ourselves are technological devices, invented by ancient bacterial communities as means of genetic survival — we are part of an intricate network that comes from the original takeover of the Earth. Our power and intelligence do not belong specifically to us, but to all life.”
— John Gray, Straw Dogs
I often think of the writer who said she wished she could feel about sex as she did about writing: That I’m the vehicle, the medium, the instrument of some force beyond myself.
Feeling is life; ego  is death. The wall is the illusion of ego, the deception of self-importance and separation which entombs the soul . One of the prime functions of the Mysteries is the dismantling of this wall, but you must be willing to do so, for you have freedom. If you are not willing, your progress becomes very slow, because of nature. And even if you are willing, it is not so easy, and there are natural limitations. For some individuals, it is almost impossible to drop that wall except by the tiniest of increments.
‘I’ is not a monad surrounded by objects. I is a world, a mechinic assemblage, a certain nexus [nouage]. To love is not to project a closed ego towards another ego, hoping to make a two-part unity. It is to assemble [agencer], to destabilize and map out new lines of escape [lignes de fuite].
People you love become part of you — not just metaphorically, but physically. You absorb people into your internal model of the world. Your brain refashions itself around the expectation of their presence. After the breakup with a lover, the death of a friend, or the loss of a parent, the sudden absence represents a major departure from homeostasis. As Kahlil Gibran put it in The Prophet, “And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
In this way, your brain is like the negative image of everyone you’ve come in contact with. Your lovers, friends, and parents fill in their expected shapes. Just like feeling the waves after you’ve departed the boat, or craving the drug when it’s absent, so your brain calls for the people in your life to be there. When someone moves away, rejects you, or dies, your brain struggles with its thwarted expectations. Slowly, through time, it has to readjust to a world without that person.