- You are born with this weird interiority that no one else can see.
- You can’t see it either at first. But if you run enough experiments you get a sense of how that inner space behaves. In particular, you can figure out which types of people can fuse with your interiority and expand it.
- You will not be able to explain how this fusion works. So don’t do it.
- But when the interiorities do fuse: notice how things are set in motion.
Don’t be afraid to suffer—take your heaviness / and give it back to the earth’s own weight / the mountains are heavy, the oceans are heavy.
∆ Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Poetry of Rilke, Sonnets to Orpheus
"As soon as we know that something is real, we can no longer be attached to it.
Attachment is no more nor less than an insufficiency in our sense of reality. We are attached to the possession of a thing because we think that if we cease to possess it, it will cease to exist."
–Simone Weil, Gravity & Grace
I have been pulled back as an arrow on a bowstring; in this breath, I take aim in the direction I will soon be launched.
Saibhung - A Gurmukhi word that means self-existent.
“Beyond similarities and differences, there is a stronger factor: the feeling and perception that the other person is secure in themselves; they exhibit the quality of self-love, self-security, and a sense of completeness and autonomy which we call saibhung. No matter where you may personally lie on the scale of security or insecurity, introversion or extraversion, Aries, Libra or other astrological types, the person who is most attractive is someone who is secure, self-contained and who is confident within themselves. Their capacity for self-love, not narcissism or vain entanglement with the ego, is the quality that attracts and allows you to authentically connect with and love another person.
“A robust capacity for self-love establishes a secure center within us. That secure center empowers us to deal with the many polarities and paradoxes that make up our internal mental and emotional life. From that place of stillness within our consciousness we can appreciate and optimize all of our characteristics and quirks, act with true flexibility and master the power of forgiveness for ourselves and others. It opens the way to naturally using the neutral mind and leads to better decisions that are more creative, effective and subtle.
“That sense of self-completeness and self-love we call saibhung is actually the most unshakable and fundamental similarity. It is self-similarity in our spirit, psyche and values. It represents a state of congruity and integration of the many parts of our personality and our existence. We also call that self- consistency. We perceive our self accurately. We love our self. And we see that each action and thought is qualified through the consciousness of that self before and as we agree to it. No condition of the environment can shake that security. We deliver to our self and to others trustworthiness and confidence. Instead of self-conflict we show self-determination to be who we are.
“To attain saibhung, we need a real experience of our true self and a sustained relationship with it. Yoga creates that secure base. Beginning with the yoga between the mother and child and continuing on as we cultivate a dynamic union of our polarities each day—our inhale and exhale, our conscious and our subconscious, our finite and infinite parts of our being—we master the swing of opposites and hold to a clear center of consciousness from which we can sustain authentic relationships.”
“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”
— Mark Twain