.Not once in any of the seven fast and furious movies did they stop for gas #Showerthoughts

.We still don't have countdowns on toasters. #Showerthoughts

.Wallets are just pockets with smaller pockets inside, that you put in your pocket #Showerthoughts

.The number of people in the world older than you is finite and shrinks every day

.If humans had originally evolved to have 12 fingers, math as we know it would be much different.

.You are never inside water, it just molds around you

Standing is just sitting on your legs

+One of the biggest surprises most of us had in our childhood was seeing the moon during day time

+A sarcastic font type would solve a shit ton of text based communication problems

+Porn Stars are just crowd-funded prostitutes.

+You have existed since the beginning of the universe, but only realized it when you gained consciousness.

+Neuroscientists are just a bunch of brains trying to understand themselves.

+If you are deaf, your entire life is a long gif.

+Ketchup is refrigerated at home but not at restaurants.

+The literal opposite of Microsoft is Megahard.

A paper clip is a staple without the commitment.

If the fat acceptance movement marched enough it would resolve itself

Old ladies are either super sweet or assholes there is no in between

You don't have bad handwriting, you just 'self-encrypt'

Saying "um" is the human equivalent to buffering

People with AirPods will never have the joy of having their ear buds save their phone from falling again

Having a stuffed nose is like breathing in 480p