i told you i needed to use the bathroom but really i wanted some space so that you wouldn’t see me tear up. i don’t know if this was the tear of gratitude, relief or guilt, i just feel so incredibly lucky that you could see me in a way that i wouldn’t even have the courage to conjure up.
Regenerative experiences: Plunge into the sea. The sun. An old city. Silence.
| Susan Sontag, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980
Oh you are never tame
fire on a mountain
eyes beside water
first day of petals
lying across the bed
in afternoon rain light
arms of evening
wherever we are is a shore
I wish I could do whatever I liked behind the curtain of madness. then, I'd arrange flowers, all day long, I'd paint; pain, love, and tenderness, I would laugh as much as I feel like. they would all say: poor thing, she's crazy. I would build my own world, which while I lived, would be in agreement with all the worlds. My madness would not be an escape from reality.