its taking me some time to process what really happened in may. i'm with someone right now who makes me happy. i struggled when i first met them because i had a skewed notion of love that i created from all the half-ass relationships i had previously been in. in may you really hurt me. you were making me anxious and i could feel you pulling away but refusing to let go. that wasn't fair. i told you what i wanted and you wanted something different but couldn't admit it. you kept me around for a reason i will never know or ask about. you don't get to treat people that way. i've been feeling a little sad about it recently. i thought i was sad about you, but i've come to realize that i am sad for who i was. i am sad that i accepted so little from you and kept you in my life for as long as i did. i hope you're well. i hope you got the job you were talking about. i hope you're making the rent.

i don't blame you anymore. you showed me who you were at the start. i knew there was never going to be a good ending.