“You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.”
— Albert Camus
Here’s the principle I live by: love the people who choose you. That’s how you prove to yourself that you care about being chosen. I write all the time on this Substack that the point of life is love. And love is not a theoretical thing, it’s something that we live out. If someone says they love me and then they vanish, I don’t think they’re a bad person, but I know they don’t love me because they’re not acting like they love me, lol. Choose someone who values you and shows it.
We can live without anyone, Bear. Humans are very resilient. We lose parents and children and spouses and we keep on breathing. When someone says “I need you to live,” that’s not flattering, that’s fiction. I think what makes love special is the very act of choice: I don’t love you because I need you, I love you because I see something in you that makes everything seem brighter. I prove my love by choosing you every day, over and over again. My love is in my repetition and my love is in my faith. You don’t need to manipulate or coax someone into loving you. Games like that aren’t worth playing—people play those games when they don’t believe that there’s a light in them that someone else will see. There is a light in you, Bear, and you’ll thrive when you tend to it carefully.
Remember: we trap ourselves in the present when we refuse to let go of it. So let go. The future will find you.
when worried or in stressful situations
"can i do something about it?"
- yes = then don't worry
- no = then don't worry
"To get everything you want is not a good thing.
The disease makes health seem sweet.
Hunger leads to the appreciation of being full-fed.
Tiredness creates the enjoyment of resting"
i wish earth was more like a library. ppl speaking in soft voices on the streets everything shared and borrowed.
We have confused pleasantness with kindness. Pleasantness is plasticine and sanitized, florescent lights over pastel bulletin boards. Kindness is human, old hardwood floors and fresh fruit.
Kindness is bringing your neighbors a bowl of chili, or sitting quietly with the people you love to reflect in the morning.
There is something profound in sharing joy with other people. There is meaning outside of misery, in hand-holding and borrowing T-shirts from people you love and sitting in the park with your friends, sandwiches and sodas in hand. I don’t think I was ever that smart to begin with, and maybe I’m dumber now that I’ve stopped intellectualising every terrible thing I want to give myself permission to do. So what? If I want to find poetic minutia, I can find it in sunburnt noses or old family quilts or grocery store carnations, crossword puzzles and discarded shopping lists and the perfect pink of pickled red onions. Maybe it’s not as artistic or inspired or bohemian, but it’s an awful lot more enjoyable.
Pretending at closeness is really the only way forward for anyone who wants to make money on the internet. As such, watch as organizations pretend, with increasing intensity, that they are individuals. Start counting how many times platforms, services, and websites entreat you in human voices, with awkward humor, for money. Watch as the things we expect to be invisible, utilitarian, start oozing emojis and winky-smileys. Even Silicon Valley, global epicenter of whitewashed empathy voids and richest-1% sci-fi wank fantasies, is going to pretend it cares about you. Especially Silicon Valley. Ugh.
Your inbox is going to fill up with requests for professional favors from strangers who tell you they love you. They are not remotely your peers, but they’ll expect you to work for them anyway for exposure, for credit, for kudos, for “the community.” They add emojis for effect, too. Your feelings are now professional currency. Everyone who makes anything digital is monitoring the exchange rate to survive. Every content creator is now a community manager.
You live in a network of friends, likes, favorites, hearts, and stars. The future is not a prison of robot overlords, but a Lucky Charms hell world stuffed with “plushies” you backed on Kickstarter. Tell your story, Medium begs me in the field where I post this article. Please like and share this article. Please Tweet at me to tell me I kick ass.
— on smarm: https://gawker.com/on-smarm-1476594977