Tears — Crying & Attachment

Understanding meaning of the tears as much mysterious as understanding meaning of life. Most of the time crying is not a conscious reaction; our brains, neurological systems, hormones decide for us. For example, when we chop onions, the exposed area of the inner part of the onion releases syn-propanethial-S-oxide which is an enzyme irritates our eyes. So, the brain signals our eyes to protect themselves and we shed tears.

Emotional crying has a great power to connect us. It is essential to resolve grief, helps us to clear our sadness and stress. Tears are a natural analgesic that relieves the pain and improves the state of mind. After crying, our breathing, and heart rate decrease, and we enter into a calmer biological and emotional state. Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying.

Besides its biological benefits for adults, crying keeps parent and child close together in infancy and helps them form that invisible yet palpable bond of love. Actually, this is not different in adulthood, we cry in need of connection and comfort. Crying is an interpersonal behaviour rather than a purely intrapsychic one, what contemporary psychoanalytic theorist call a “two-person” as opposed to a “one-person” behavior. Unfortunately, most of the time we feel like crying shows their weakness and they lose power and respect.