1) pick (two) books of the month. one non-fiction, one fiction. they don't have to complement each other.
2) set strict studio hours between 3-6pm. determine what you'll be practicing within those hours at least a day in advance.
3) set minimum and maximum non-personal working hours. this includes when you check emails and slack.
4) document your life for your life.
5) keep track of the stars and planets in transit, and make note of the seasons and the weather. get accustomed to making sense of the physical world by using your senses, intuition, and memory. use this knowledge to cast spells and do good.
6) when you learn things, take good notes. when you dream things, jot them down. everything is important.
“Every day of your lives is practice in becoming the person you want to be. No instantaneous miracle is suddenly going to occur and make you brave and courageous and true.” - Audre Lorde
Relationships aren't permanent and they should never be all-consuming. All-consuming relationships are a recipe for losing oneself. Relationships are fragile after all. It's far better to remember no one person can ever be our everything, which means losing someone doesn't mean we return to nothing.
Remember what it was like to love and be loved, even if it was only for a few minutes. Remember that just because something is over doesn't mean it was any less real. People aren't homes. You can't buy them or own them. You can't renovate them to be whatever you want or need according to your changing desire or expectations. You can't dump your shit all over their interior. You can't expect them to wait around to comfort your each and every insecurity. People aren't backup plans or getaways - they exist in the present. They exist and serve many roles and purposes besides being a supporting character in our stories. And we exist outside of playing a supportive character in theirs.
A lot of healing is based on repetition. We often forget how many times we have reacted blindly in the past and how that accumulates in the mind to reinforce certain behavior patterns. To undo a lifetime of reactions is possible but it requires focus and intentional effort. When you genuinely make it a goal to transform, it is only a matter of time until you start seeing results. You want to apply effort into your attempts, but you never want to be rough or harsh with yourself. Letting go of unwanted habits and building new ones will ask you to dig deep into gentleness and patience. You are not going to get it right every time but eventually you will apply enough calm and compassionate effort that your new way of living will become second nature.
Later on, one begins to discover, with great pain, and very much against one’s will, that whatever it is you want, what you want, at bottom, must be to become yourself: there is nothing else to want.
"Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out."
“Rituals stabilize life by structuring time.”
What we need most are temporal structures that stabilize life. When everything is short-term, life loses all stability. Stability comes over long stretches of time: faithfulness, bonds, integrity, commitment, promises, trust.