Their Fall, millions of generations in the making, became a sweet sensation, a wave, spreading across the surface of the cake, rippling the icing, the plate, rattling the forks and knives, the table, the window, the street; By three a.m., waves widened full-ahead across North America, a spreading series of rings, at the centre of which was a half-deflated cake, punctured by their Fall.
The Fall of the V8. The Fall of the Pinto. The Fall of the Pork Pie. The Fall of the Banana Split. The Fall of the Espresso. The Fall of the Hula-Hoop. The Fall of the Chocolate Pudding. The Fall of the Barbie. The Fall of the Beach Ball. The Fall of the Arch de Triumph. The Fall of the Great Wall...
For the people of France, the founders of sweet sweet icing—if not the very concept of cake —the widening waves rolling across the Atlantic were hailed as a triumphant return. "Their Fall," they said, "marks a return to fulsome and fecund communion, a world of glory and ease, creativity and unpasteurized cheese, ha ha, I know that's a cliche but cliches work fast and we don't have much time."
WE WENT TO THE PIE WITHOUT A PIPER
We went to the pie without a Piper, which was not our custom at the time. The pie itself was not great, not bad. We took a number of photos with the pie. Then we went back to the pier for beers. At the pier, many of our friends were friends for the first time. Some of our friends were pro Piper people, they were fine. There were also some Pippers who became flippant (maybe a little aggressive) in the presence of so-called "pros." There were a couple of more radical Pippers but my photos of the rest of the evening have been erased.
ONE THING TO KNOW ABOUT PIPPERS
One thing to know about Pippers is they are people, too. They love their pets, friends, siblings, and so forth. They don't love being pigeonholed, but they love pie charts, bar graphs... They love drinking beer and sharing practical advice about Powerpoint and Excel. I had a Pipper as a locker partner when I was in high school; eventually she became my tutor in math. One time I went to her house after school. She microwaved a pizza for herself. We started watching Top Gear and then she fell asleep. I didn't know what to do so I left.