i've slept now, and i'm feeling better. we're about to cross over from california into oregon, and there's a beautiful sunrise along the mountains.
i'm feeling excited about SOAK, and about seeing my friends and making new ones. i've been bouncing back and forth between excited and nervous, but we've landed on excited for the moment.
i'm on the amtrak from davis to portland. i'm annoyed, because someone just incorrectly claimed that i was in their seat, and i spent about five minutes walking around trying to find where i was supposed to be before i realized that they were just wrong. i'm frustrated at what a sticky feeling this anger is — just a little while before i was feeling happy and hopeful, but that state of mind has left me now.
i'm going to rest, and then i'll write here again. there are lots of exciting updates, i just need to let this frustration wash over me and take its time to subside first.
i'm writing to you from the taxi to the airport. i thought it would be sad, but right now it's just scary. the sad will probably hit in a few hours, once i'm safely on the plane (fingers crossed). i shouldn't be that sad anyways, i know i'll be back. and i have a lot to look forwards to. i think it's just the sort of thing that one ought to feel sad about, which is really a very silly way to relate to feelings. anyway, more later, this tiny square textbox on my phone is quite cramped
leaving taipei tomorrow morning. went through a lot of feelings today, as i was going through all the chores involved in leaving (getting a covid test, cancelling my phone and internet, putting my stuff in storage)
for a while in the morning, there was just the overwhelming feeling of floating, that i have no idea what i'm doing next and no anchors.
then i started to look at backpacking in europe in june, and i'm feeling a lot better about things. i can float around for a little while, in beautiful nature, carrying my life on my back.