i'm on the amtrak from davis to portland. i'm annoyed, because someone just incorrectly claimed that i was in their seat, and i spent about five minutes walking around trying to find where i was supposed to be before i realized that they were just wrong. i'm frustrated at what a sticky feeling this anger is — just a little while before i was feeling happy and hopeful, but that state of mind has left me now.

i'm going to rest, and then i'll write here again. there are lots of exciting updates, i just need to let this frustration wash over me and take its time to subside first.

i'm writing to you from the taxi to the airport. i thought it would be sad, but right now it's just scary. the sad will probably hit in a few hours, once i'm safely on the plane (fingers crossed). i shouldn't be that sad anyways, i know i'll be back. and i have a lot to look forwards to. i think it's just the sort of thing that one ought to feel sad about, which is really a very silly way to relate to feelings. anyway, more later, this tiny square textbox on my phone is quite cramped

leaving taipei tomorrow morning. went through a lot of feelings today, as i was going through all the chores involved in leaving (getting a covid test, cancelling my phone and internet, putting my stuff in storage)

for a while in the morning, there was just the overwhelming feeling of floating, that i have no idea what i'm doing next and no anchors.

then i started to look at backpacking in europe in june, and i'm feeling a lot better about things. i can float around for a little while, in beautiful nature, carrying my life on my back.