thinking about the spaces I occupy on the internet and the feeling that I have parts of myself scattered across the expanse of the web, old and new. it's the same sort of overwhelming feeling I get when I think about using a multitude of different tools for similar tasks (yet with different objectives) - like using typora to write in general, but using google drive/docs to write school essays because of the cloud storage or using obsidian for its graph view.

there's a compulsion to bring everything back in retroactively, to home everything in one place but thinking about the work that would go into that is daunting. at some point, it feels like it would be easier to delete everything and start afresh. after spending so much time away from a lot of these older accounts that I have, I find myself realising that things I've saved thinking "I might need this at some point" don't end up being used. I can't even remember the things I've kept in my tumblr/twitter likes or instagram saves tbh. moreover, many of the older ones on tumblr have started succumbing to link rot or some kind, so I'm kind of feeling like I'm at the point where I'm ready to let go and delete these accounts.

attempting to migrate these things I don't even think about for the sake of completeness or reassurance that I might someday go back to it again is just putting myself on a path to unnecessary anxiety and burnout, I feel. there's of course a part of me that thinks about how some of these accounts can be a reflection of my younger selves, but I have to admit to myself that it's not something I've actually used to go back to see who I was and that leaving these parts of myself up online (& abandoned) feels out of place and uncomfortable.

15 may 2022