They say the difficulty with nothing-but-light,
as with utter darkness, is not so much that we cannot see,
but that we're stripped of context: we're as near
∆ Carl Phillips, from Yet No Less Grateful, Then the War: And Selected Poems 2007-2020 (Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 2022)
SIX LEVELS OF VALIDATION
Being Present: giving your complete attention to the person struggling in a non-judgmental way
Accurate Reflection: Summarize what the person has said, try to really understand and not judge the person’s experience
Reading someone’s behavior and guessing what they may be thinking or feeling: pay attention to the person’s emotional state and label their emotion or infer how they may be feeling. Be sure to check in with the person to make sure your guess is accurate!
Understanding someone’s behavior in terms of their history and biology: think about how someone’s past experiences may be affecting how they are feeling now, in this moment or situation.
Normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have: recognize that many people may feel the way that you or the other person is feeling in a given situation and let them know that it’s okay to feel this way as many people do.
Radical genuineness: this happens when you are able to understand how someone is feeling on a deeper, personal level. Perhaps, you have had a similar experience. Sharing that with the other person can help to validate their feelings and reactions.
When you break something, you must study the pattern of the shattering before you can piece it back together.
Akwaeke Emezi, Freshwater
Julian Jaynes’ The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind offers a compelling hypothesis. He proposes that what we now experience as our separate, personal consciousness was once thought to be the outside voice of God speaking through us.
There's a character in Toni Morrison's novel Beloved, her name is Sethe. She can't let herself remember the beauty of the plantation she escaped from because it is drenched in memories of slavery. She wakes up from nightmares wondering if hell might not also be a pretty place.
⚘ Carl Anthony
The minimum “distortable” fragment of nature is the shot; ingenuity in its combinations is montage