Think about the impact of a hand written letter, a song made for somebody, or an unexpected surprise.
In all of these, the maker is focused on a single person until it’s been delivered.
Love and attention are the same.
May love (always) be the ampersand between the two of us.
-This is all I have to say.
What attachment theory essentially says is that being loved matters — and, more than that, it matters who loves us and whom we love in return. It’s not just a matter of the warm body holding the bottle; it’s not object love at all; we love specific people and we need them to love us back. And in the case of the child’s tie to the mother, it matters that the mother loves that baby and that the baby knows it. When you are a very small child, love needs to be as tangible as warm arms around you and as audible as the lull of a gentle voice at night.
The more familiar two people become, the more the language they speak together departs from that of the ordinary, dictionary-defined discourse. Familiarity creates a new language, an in-house language of intimacy that carries reference to the story the two lovers are weaving together and that cannot be readily understood by others.
∆ Alain de Botton, On Love