rather than accumulate more things, most likely would be better off with a better, deeper, richer understanding of what they already have. invite yourself to be more considerate and thoughtful about what is in your life. open yourself to possibility
"Build upon friendships. There is more to life than going out every night. Stay at home with close friends. Go on adventures together.
"That being said, don't be afraid to end some friendships. Fair-weather friends are not worth your time. Stay loyal to those that truly matter and invest your time with them."
ok i think ive figured it out again. i've been so lost and demoralized lately. i've been emotional, strained, and stressed by the urgency of life around me. yes its all a capitalist hellscape when you look at it, but you still resolve a way to live it out.
guiding questions, thoughts, springboard
how much suffering?
suffer as much as the oppressed 
because im already privileged in that my objectives are aligned; the fact that im aware of what the problem is and that i can give my life to solving it.
the premise: "meaningful life > happy life", which is not always agreeable. its quite ""copium""-adjacent.
***** I now remember, I used to have this philosophy of "seek discomfort, because discomfort + intellect is growth"
I think my objective is to work at that optimal discomfort range. previously, i did this but it wasn't integrated in the long run. now i realize the true meaning of high impact. But this doesn't mean I can't have a humane and happy life. I know the keys to good wellbeing .
1: this means my drive is guilt-derived-but-gratitude-based; i want to suffer because """its not fair""" that i suffer less. (might be problematic, might not...). I've lived like this since probably high school when i gained a conscience. it only gets problematic when im over-exerted/burnt out. which I am at time of writing? idk, idts, but maybe its pandemic/quarantine blues, in which case it may well be. i remember all the way up to march '19, i was keeping myself busy. its probably just being home that does this to me
lets hope i get back on it when im back on the grind.
- see: 6 dimensions of wellness