Understanding and appreciating how your partner manages upheaval is half the battle,” Ms. Hewson said. “Knowing what to expect from your partner can alleviate a lot of confusion, disappointment and resentment.
"I feel like you always see yourself as fundamentally broken, damaged beyond measure, but that's not how I see you. I love the time we spend together and I see so many good things about you and that's not going to change because you had terrible experiences in the past and you feel insecure or anxious from time to time because of that. I love you and I hope one day you can see yourself exactly the way I see you."
To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients—care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication.