today I have decided that I love being a 20 year old kid. I love making 20 year old kid mistakes. I love having 20 year old kid dreams and wishes and hopes and wants and desires. I love being 20 and knowing Jesus and I love being 20 and not knowing Jesus at all. I love being 20 and I love having so much time. idk today I just really love being 20 and today I love that I feel like I am finally allowed to act my age in all the responsible and irresponsible ways. I love it.
Constantly I have about 5 conversations going on in my head at all times and sometimes I hear one word from one and I want to spend some time with it but I hear another from a separate conversation and I am like Wait that’s good don’t forget it come back to it but I cant.
It feels like when you're looking through a book and you're reading about something on one page and you stumble upon something with a footnote so you momentarily glance down to the footnote to read more about it, intending to go back to the original paragraph. The footnote has information that tells you to read more in the back of the book. You put your finger on the page to bookmark it and start to flip to the back of the book. On your way to the back of the book you see a page with an interesting image you'd like to look at. You put your other finger there and continue toward the back of the book. When you're reading the information in the back of the book you glance over at some other information that seems interesting. You quickly flip to the page the new information is referencing. It turns out that all of this page has information that connects to what you were reading about originally but also takes you in a few new directions so you decide which ones are pursuing for the moment. You continue this process until you run out of fingers.
But imagine this process is going on in your head and not in a physical book so you can't actually bookmark anything and images and words are abstract, intangible ideas.